31

Photo From Google

When I was a kid, I never thought about being 31. For me, ages are just numbers. I am 31, yet I don't feel like one. I feel like I am still on my teenage years. Only then I realized what people used to tell me that you can always be young at heart. For I am still young at heart.

Being 31, is not such an easy stage. Yes, I am still in love with colors and yet I'm no longer at the age where I can just wear anything I want or just buy whatever is there that are on sale or on season. Finding the right fashion for this age is not a joke. First, I must buy the basics. So last weekend I searched around for a white shirt or plain shirt appropriate for my age but then I came home empty handed. Yeah, I saw many shirts/tops/blouses but most of them will suite for girls on their early 20's or younger. I still love to wear shirts but in spite of the sale going on I can't just pick up any shirt to wear outside!

Shoes. I love heels and different colors such as pink, yellow, green, blue but then not all the time it will suite me the way it will look cute on younger girls. Recently I purchased a loafers. Hoping it will look professional and elegant without trying so hard. Plus, if I will wear high heels all the time I have to be ultra careful! I tripped once and the experience was not so good at all, the pain was unbearable that I thought I will faint from the pain. It's not good for my health and I don't want to suffer later on in my life because of it.

Jeans. Goodbye low waist jeans. Hello chinos and trousers! Even for jeans/pants I must choose carefully. Gone are the days that I can get away with just any jeans. I'm still dying to rock those colored jeans but I don't want to look like that I'm trying hard to look young as if I am still on my teenage years.

Even the make up, I can no longer experiment. Bright colors are a big no NO too!! I do not know if I will be able to get everything right. I'm just hoping I will be able to get through this, get used to it. I'm sure the things I mentioned are not enough. But one step at a time, even finding a good tops for simple malling is driving me crazy!

So for all the kids/girls out there, enjoy your youth. Especially for those who can't wait to grow up. Growing up is cool and fun but at the same time with so many obstacles. It ain't easy; sometimes I even wish that I'll be forever in my 20's..

Frustrated Photographer :(

That is how I describe myself..

Ever since I came here in the UAE, taking photos has been a part of my life. Capturing every moments, freezing them in time. All the little occasions in my life over here. But as time goes by, I dunno.. I do not really see any improvements. I am still bad as ever when it comes to capturing a good angle. I do not have the eye for it. Most of the times it saddens me.

But then maybe I am not really trying hard enough, while others do choose to practice everyday I choose to sleep and regain my energy from working the whole day. While others to get their ass out of the house even if it is 40 degrees I choose to jus stay at home and watch movies.

And the weekends, ahhh I spend it on malls. To see a movie and eat. And then go to grocery which again left me little time to linger and take a snap shots. Will I ever improve? I'm still hoping anyway. I do hope in the future I will have plenty of time in my hand to concentrate but for now, I just have to be and happy to be contented. Maybe, photography isn't for everyone after all. But still I am open to all advices and pointers that people will give me..

Am I just getting tired? Just need a break?

Friends often tell me to stop complaining about life. Stop thinking too much. Just enjoy the moment. But once in a while this feelings keep on coming. I know how hard life is. I know a lot of people would give up everything to be in my position (don't mean to sound boastful, but I have seen a lot of unemployed hoping to be a part of this company). I had been wearing uniform from the day I started schooling up to now that I am working. Some days I do waking up hating "uniforms". Sometimes, I do go to work just because I have to. I had been doing the same thing over and over again. The salary is still the same. The system is still the same. But then I do not want to go back in Manila. Tsk. There are so many questions left unanswered. So many things I cannot understand. I see myself as a robot. Need to wake up early. Go to work. Have lunch. Go home in the evening. Go in the mall on weekends. I look at my colleagues and some times I do envy them. How contented they are with their lives, but sometimes I wonder too if they do have other dreams? How can they be completely happy in this place? Do I just need a break? Or I am really tired with the situation? In just a few days I will go on mini vacation. Hopefully I'll find some answers too..

What comes into your mind when you hear the word "OFW"?

This is the question that I want to ask to some of my relatives, neighbors, friends, to those NAIA staffs, POEA employees, to those people in the agencies, to the politicians, even to the kids. I don't mean to post sad things, but then I need to let it out of my chest. Because sometimes, I feel that PEOPLE see us as some sort of ATM machine. They do not even care whatever we are going through. What ever will happen to our future.

We are also human beings, working abroad because there is not much opportunities in our country. Working abroad, doesn't make us rich. Even if we do have the latest gadgets doesn't even qualify us to be called RICH. Being away from the comfort zone is bad enough. SO how much more of the things that we do experience everyday?

I'm sick and tired of hearing people that since we are working abroad we do have a lot of MONEY. People expect a lot from you. If those expectations were not met, they have the nerve to be mad at you. And when you are not going home for such a long time, they will think that you must be saving tons of money in the bank. It doesn't even occur to the that maybe you don't even have enough money to buy a ticket home :(