Taong Manhid

PHOTO Credits to the owner

My ADVANCE day off and Footwear!

Thursday... And I am calling it advance day off because next week Saturday is supposed to be HOLIDAY and at the same time my normal OFF DAY. But then since the new manager decided that in spite of us achieving the target last month and will be able to achieve the target again this month, the best reward will be taking away our off day next week! With no plans of giving us an off set the following week or the next month. As in NADA! Officially we don't have work today because of the holidays but for me this is already rest day that will be taken away from us next week. And yes I am aware that with my way of writing I'm just going back in circles. Explaining the same thing huh! I'm sorry but I have to rant about it through blog. Through writing to let it off my chest. But at least today I feel much better than yesterday. It sucks that I won't be able to go out but at least I was able to enjoy myself in little ways. So it is not wholly a rant post. A mixture of a little rant and a little happiness. Life is one big drama so one must find happiness even in little ways. 

Yesterday afternoon until today I was able to catch up on watching the current teleserye in the Philippines called On The Wings Of Love. I'm just currently downloading the episode 32 and 33. Haha. Watching the series somehow makes me 'kilig' again. And I can say that it can compete with Koreanovela that the whole world goes gaga for. It has an element of drama but not so heavy. With a bit of comedy. Pacing is fast enough. And some scenes are in line with the current trends/situation. Like the Balikbayan Box issue. I think all Filipinos all over the world knows about this one. If I am not mistaken when Jig's mother came out as a lesbian it was also during the time that the same sex marriage has been approved in the USA. How they portray the lives of OFW's and their families back home is something almost all us can relate. That I find myself crying in some scenes when they were not even crying. Meaning it really touched me. It hit a nerve. I really hope they can sustain it until the end and if the story can't really go farther then finish it off rather that drag it. This is not your usual rich guy meet the poor girl ploy. 

And the lead stars James Reid and Nadine Lustre. I know they are not dating in real life but they have this strong chemistry. I would really love to see them grow as an artists. And have a longevity in their showbiz lives. And after this I hope to see them again in another series. And that's it for now as if I don't want to end up telling the whole story as I know some people/friends/colleagues who haven't seen it yet and I'm convincing them to give it a try. Even if I have to give them a copy of it. 

You pretty much have an idea now how my 2 days passed by. Haven't been able to shop items that I need like my current favorite snack Nutella On The Go or even bring my uniform to the laundry. I will be able to go out tonight just because I'm done watching. Because if there are still available episodes on my laptop I don't think I can have the willpower to move my arse from the bed. And speaking of footwear I realized that compared to 3 or 4 years ago I don't buy much of footwear anymore. These 3 pairs I have are purchased months ago. The wedge one is more than a year old but haven't got the chance to wear them. All are Brazilian brands of shoes and you can trust them. They are affordable (on sale I don't buy when there's no discount) and lasts for years.

I used to be some sort of shoe collector having too many pairs of high heels in my shoe cabinet. But then things changed. I don't have my own family yet but when I set my goal of leaving this place for good I know that I must save all the money I have. And when I do love for shoes is one of the things I let go of. Also at this point of my life and the current situation over here even if I'm not a shopaholic I feel that money is very hard to manage more than ever. So hard that I can't even bring myself to use these new babies. As I doubt I'll be able to afford a new one in the future. Not being pessimistic more on realistic. 

Need to go now. Hopefully one of these days I will be able to tell more about my life here in the desert and why I always say that life is very hard. Or do I still need to do that? I think in my previous posts I always say how salary is not align with the prices of the rent. Also I will try to take other photos of the shoes so I can post them again. Although I haven't much to say except the quality is really good. I would not be vouching for it if quality sucks. Ciao! 

My HOLIDAY and some shoes..

Well happy holidays to all wherever you are in the world. Today is the first day of our supposed to be four days holiday. Do I sound happy? Naahhhh. Don't get me wrong please I don't have anything against the celebration but what causes my sadness is unlike some of you guys (I'm not too sure if I should share stuff like this in the internet but hey I'm disappointed) for us in the office it is like we only have one day holiday. Because next week our new manager will not give us any off day. Meaning we have to be at work by Saturday. Uhm, our business is doing well so we were expecting that we will have a reward by letting us enjoy the holidays but they love to do the opposite. The more money we bring in the more we lose our holidays because if we achieved 110% out of 100% target they want again to surpassed whatever we last achieved. Great just great. Whatever happened to the word quality time. Balanced work and life. Don't work too much that you forget how to live. Just great. Simply great. And top of it all I don't have a choice but to follow. 

In the UAE I think there are only 9 days holiday in a year and we don't get to enjoy them all. That I think it would have been better if there'll be no holidays at all for all of us. Sorry as that sounds selfish but at least that is fair for all. You'll feel this way too if you have a well deserved off day taken away from you. It is like this all over the world? That whatever is written in the labour law does not really matter? I'm just at home. Sulking. Doing household chores. Daydreaming that one day a chance to work somewhere else will come. Someday. I feel so helpless that in the end that is the only solution I can see. To be able to move away someday.

 

I was taking some photos while there is still light outside but then the camera's battery is about to die soon that I have to charge it. I may have a good camera but I don't like the shots it produces at night. Here's just one photo that I wanted to share with you. Some Brazilian shoes that I got. I love their quality. I'll be posting more photos as soon as I can. As these Brazilian brands of shoes are totally worth of every penny spent on them. I have this black slippers that I had been using since 2009. That's how great they are. But I rarely find my size. That's the only downside as I have a very small feet. 

I'll just watch some episodes of On The Wings Of Love before continuing household chores. Thanks for listening to my rants in life. And please don't judge it is not everyday that I am like this. There are just times. As I had been carrying too many burdens in life that I need an outlet to vent out. Ciao!

My Friday and some lipstick swatches

Every Friday I'm out of the flat. Eating out in some fast food chains and doing some window shopping. Then the weekly grocery shopping. But today it is different as no one will be with me. So I had to stay home. Before I went to bed last night I decided how my day will go. Will try to take some photos for this blog. Will pack some goods for my cargo this coming December. And clean up the room. Alas, the day is about to end I haven't accomplished much. It started when I woke up late. Woke up at 9 instead of 6 as I originally planned. I was dying to watch all the episodes of Aldub as well but then I overslept! And when I woke up ended up reading my favorite blog then watched some clips via YouTube. What a day.  

Here's the swatches of the lipsticks I own. Taken using aperture mode and during my lunch break last week. My Sony Alpha 6000 will be one year old soon and yet I haven't master it at all. I still suck. As of the lipsticks I planned to write each post but even that until now is just well a PLAN! But I will try. 

Photo taken when I placed my hand under the brightest light in the room. But the messy background is not a good sight for me to take photos which led me to my original plan weeks ago to clean up the room especially the floors and the corners! Hay buhay OFW. I always end up not doing it as every night I am too tired to do anything else. 

Clear photo because I used the Auto Mode of my camera and sadly I'll be using much of it. Sad because it means that I'm not improving at all. Well the day is not yet over but instead of sulking because I lack the photography skills I'll try to at least finish something before I go to bed again. Bye for now! Hope you are enjoying your Friday :)

I am always broke

I'm not really sure if I should write a post like this. But I just want to let it off my chest. And at the same time try to tell to my fellow Filipinos back home that being an OFW is not easy. And I hope time will come that the we will not be synonymous to rich. Yes this is about my life and my financial status but a lot of OFW's are in the same boat with me. First of all I did not come from a rich family. I used to think that we belong to the middle class but later on in life I start to question that. And just a month ago I had a discussion with a colleague as he was insisting that yes we belong to the middle class. And I strongly contradicts him by saying that even though we are OFW's we belong to the group of people living in Poverty. He says that people living in poverty line doesn't have anything to eat anymore. I think poor people are those people like me who has work but living on hand to mouth kind of life and those who doesn't have work at all and have to beg. In the end it is still all the same both don't have money in the pocket. So both are poor.

Well for me middle class means you have an extra money in your bank account for other things. Or you have a budget for your every needs. But I don't even have an extra budget and therefore I consider myself poor. Yes I have work but the salary is just enough to pay bills and send home. I don't have budget for other things like clothes, shoes, bags, cosmetics, gadgets and vacation. If ever that I'm able to afford any of those things still it does not make me belong to the middle class. If ever here is what I do. Either I don't pay my bills on time or I just pay it partially. Or I take a loan. Second quarter of the year I purchased a lot of items that I need and wants. At the expense of my supposed to be ticket money so instead of going home for vacation I just stayed at home. This month I was able to hoard toiletries but then I used all my food money. Do people in middle class families to that?

There are far too many factors why I am broke and not only me but most of us. The salary is not equal to the cost of living. If I will rant about it and so the millions of people all over the world. I guess this is the way it is everywhere. Everything are so expensive nowadays. Both in the Philippines and in the UAE. And how can I not help my family when helping them was the main reason why I have chosen to work overseas in the first place. Well I'm the one who send one of the brothers to college and right now he's working. He got work after applying for companies for 6 months. And the other one is still studying and yes I am the one supporting him. He'll finish by October next year. Because of this I have to send up to 60% of my salary. And even if he finish studying it will not mean that my financial status will change. By then I will be paying whatever loans/arrears I'm having now. Not advisable but I can't avoid most of the time. Even if I am done helping my family here comes another factor. The cost of living here just keeps on going up. Nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide.

I don't know when will my situation (or every OFW's situation) will change. I don't know if there is still hope. One thing is for sure. Life goes on. As with it one must he happy in spite of whatever circumstances he is in. And that is what I am doing. Trying to be happy. Trying to be positive. But then at times I'm getting depressed. But I am fighting it. I just turn into writing so at least even once I can release the emotions building up inside of me.

Of makeup and whiteheads

Here I am again with my favorite topic. Whiteheads. Maybe I should rename my blog to something like "Chronicles of my Whiteheads" or "The girl who rants about Whiteheads". For weeks now I had been patiently reading blogs and articles about whitehead. How to cure them. As well as using different products. Sadly I don't think it's possible to be completely whitehead free once you have them. The nose will keep on producing oil whatever the weather is and whatever product you use. The same way our body will keep on producing sweat whether it is summer or winter. But at least it is proven and tested that having a 'botox' in underarms will prevent you from sweating. Whereas there is no such treatment for the nose that will stop it from producing oil. Oil control products can hold off oil only for a few hours then the nose is back to normal again. Oil. The root cause of whitehead.

The other day I watched Nikki Tutorials on YouTube. She's amazing. She put on makeup only on half of her face to see the big difference. Sometimes I wish I can do the same but then I lack the skills to do so. Second video I watched was about Filipinas makeup common mistakes which left me scratching my head and  a little ashamed of myself as I was guilty to some of them. Nikki said that there is no rule in makeup. Do whatever look you want to aim for. While this Filipina who made the video pointed out (which she learned from another make up guru) that one must not use eyeliner in the eye line if you will not put it also in your eyelids. So I am doing it wrong whenever I use an eyeliner then? Which is easier to give up and eyeliner then. Easy to give advice especially when the person giving an advice has a hooded eyelid. But then after watching these videos make me think.

I gathered all the foundation, bb cream and cc cream I own. No matter how good it is or even if it says to be oil free and non comedogenic still it can't help that some of it will aggravate the whiteheads on my nose. Which made me vow never again to purchase any of those. Also I will avoid the SA's more than ever. As I recently purchased Rimmel Nude Foundation as I was stupidly persuaded by the SA when all I wanted to buy was the Rimmel Makeup Base. An impulse purchase as I was trying to find a brand that can replace Essence All About Matt Oil Control Makeup Base which is hard to find. Persistent SA and me are not a good combo.

And now I can see myself eventually giving up makeup soon. I'll just finish whatever I have. Foundation and the likes are no no for my whiteheads. No eyeshadow. No mascara. No eyeliner. I'll just finish the ton of blush on and lip products I purchased when I was on shopping spree for those. Seems to me that only those are safe enough for me to use.

Why I stopped watching makeup tutorials at YouTube

I just watched a YouTube tutorial about 'strobing' as I have been seeing it over social networks. Silly me only now I realized what is the reason why I never learned how to do a full make up or at least use a make up properly. And why on earth did I stopped watching make up tutorials when they are so great and fun to watch. Well I still use make up but it's very limited. One or two shades of eyeshadow. Nothing fancy. Sometimes I use sponge tip applicators ~ old school I know. And my eyeshadow is not even on daily basis. Then followed by a blush on that is usually cream but now I'm trying to use powder type. Then lastly a lipstick or a lip gloss depends on my mood on that day. And that's it!

My 'whiteheads' always get in the way. That is my main problem. Over the years I have used a lot of products. Tried different techniques but to no avail. For example if tonight I will be using a nose strips to remove my whiteheads there will still be some left (used different brands/products are the results are always the same nothing can take it all away 100%) so the next day if I will put layers of make up in my nose it will look unsightly. That's why my BB Cream, CC Cream and Foundation takes forever to finish as I don't use them everyday because of this. And it drives me crazy that whenever I just want to look around the make up shops the SA would always ask me to try their foundation or if I want a foundation. There are days that I want to be rude and shout at them to 'leave me alone' as yet need to find a product that will make my whiteheads disappear for good!

Then after the whiteheads my next issue is at my age I already have a dry skin but except on T zone. As well as those fine lines. Products around my eyes usually ends up being cakey. When I say products it means concealer and the likes. Sadly at times even the eye cream. So in the morning after I put on layers of skin care products followed by a layer of make up that usually leads to chaos on my face. That is why I usually prefer liquids. As they are unlikely to turn into lumps in my face. And the beauty gurus I'm watching are young. There is a huge difference between a young and aging skin. Young skin all products seem to glide on smoothly. Nothing would cake up. If it looks good on them it looks horrible on me. I should start looking for tutorials based on my skin type. I hope I will find some. And I will be sharing them here for those girls out there who are in the same boat like me. 

A lot of good make up gurus I have seen on YouTube are mostly white girls. I heard that there are now Filipinas YouTubers but I haven't check them out. Those beautiful hues that looks gorgeous with white girls ~ for example the Mac Cremesheen Nude? I have seen a lot of white girls rocking it fine. But I look like an extra in The Walking Dead wearing it. You know when they are in between just dying and turning into zombie. Plus my eye lids (the hoods) are so small so one time I tried to put a eyeshadow followed by an eyeliner. The result? The eyeshadow won't peek through and the eyeliner sticks up to the upper lid (or it is called crease?). With that experience whatever eyeliners I have are tucked away in somewhere in my drawer. 

And the brows!!!!! Am I the only girl on earth who doesn't pluck her brows? I'm not against women plucking her brows. To each her own. But just because they do, must I? I will try to see if I can find woman my age who gives make up tutorials and I wish that woman will also have brows like me. 

This is not a rant post. Just me writing down my thoughts. My experiences regarding make up. I now have ample collection. And I wish to be able to use them all at least before I reach my 40's. And now off I go to look for tutorial videos. Wish me luck!

Always Running After Time

Did I use a correct term in my post title? Well this is not a rant post. I just want to write it down. I was hesitant for a long time as some people who might stumble upon this blog might perceive it as bad mouthing my company or the country I am in. And I don't have any intentions to do so. I put up this blog as my online diary. That's why one of my tags  is 'Chronicles Of My UAE Life'. About my life and lifestyle here as an expat in the Middle East. As well as practice in writing in English too.

Okay to start with I need to wake up at least before 7:00am and I know I am such a lucky bastard as a lot of people has to wake up earlier than that and worst has to drive. I know that driving on daily basis in long hours will eventually exhaust you after many years. I need to be at work at 8:00am. We do have a lunch break for only one hour. Again I am lucky to be living near the office. Not all the people I know have that luxury. Then work finishes at 6:30pm. We do have 2 days off in a week. But in spite of it all I still find myself always running after time. Meaning the time left for me outside work seems like still not enough. Most of the time I feel like I am living so I can work. Not the other way around.

Please don't judge me. I am perfectly aware that if it is hard for me how much more for other people especially those who has to travel going and coming from work. Believe me I see and heard too much. I just can't comment as there's nothing I can also do about them. I am not exactly a lazy person. In fact there are so many things I do aside from work. There are so many things that I still want to do. But I just can't find time to do them all. I have given up learning how to bake years ago. Baking time is a not a problem but preparation takes time. 

Sometimes I wish there will be a train that connects all the emirates but I know that will never happen. Each emirates has their own government. That is how I understand it. It is like each emirate is a country itself. So who will exactly fund those trains that will be connecting them all? I am wishing that so it will be less hassle for those who has to travel. And also will lessen my travel on weekends. Weekends when I have to go to Dubai. The main emirate. To shop. For those who read some of the posts I have written before will understand my wish about this one. Imagine a bullet train. Maybe I won't need to go in Dubai on weekends also for grocery items. Maybe I can do that on weekdays too! But that is only in my dream.

Seems that everything is in Dubai only. And it is understandable as that is the main emirate in this country. That is the place where tourists go. I know Abu Dhabi is the capital but then that is a different story. So naturally almost everything someone needs will be there and they will not be in other far away emirates. I always shop at Daiso. The biggest and almost complete Daiso is in Dubai. We shop food and other items at Carrefour. Biggest and almost complete Carrefour is in Mirdif City Center which is also in Dubai. During winter almost on weekly basis I was in a Korean and Japanese Grocery Stores. Both of those stores are located only in Karama which again is in Dubai. Want to buy an ingredient or product from Thailand, Vietnam or Sri Lanka? Try groceries in Dubai for sure a handful of them will have those.

Just an example. One Friday. Woke up 8:00am. Had a coffee. Took a bath. Prepared myself then headed to Dubai. First stop: one grocery shop and bought some Thai items. Second stop: Daiso. Third stop: Japanese Grocery Store. Fourth stop: Korean Grocery Store. Headed to mall to eat. Then grocery. Then went home. Watch a TV. Had a dinner. Night is over. If only I could just buy everything I need for the whole year to lessen the shopping time. But I can't. I don't have a fund to do so. And also I can't bring them all. Plus food items has expiration date. The flat is small. Kitchen is small. Freezer of fridge is small. And I am only talking about food and some household items.

Since January this year I'm always checking out stores that have discounted items. Shopping for clothes usually takes me forever too. Not because I have an overflowing money. That I can buy everything and the whole store! Takes time as I need to find something which is within my budget. Like a 15.00AED shirt. To find the best deal you must spend time checking out the stores painfully one by one. 

Too many books waiting for me to read them. Too many songs I must listen too. Too many movies I can't wait to watch. Too many recipes I'm dying to cook. Baking. I miss baking. But the floor need to be clean everyday. Dishes have to be washed everyday. Clothes have to be washed everyday. Washed clothes needed to be hang everyday and fold afterwards. I can't afford on weekdays to cook something that will take time. I need everything quick. Photography. Maybe I will be able to practice you when I am old and gray and have all the time in the world. Right now I can take photos but only for a few minutes. Nothing more. 

I'm sorry if this is a negative and depressing post. I just need to let it out. Since there's no one I can talk to about it. That's why I am still dreaming of moving to another country in the west. Maybe I will be experiencing the same. I will always still run after time. But then I will be running after time in a different environment. With a cool climate. Well me and my dreams..

Beauty Products and Cooking

It was June 2014. Exactly a year ago. When I started buying beauty products with lots of promises. At first I would purchase a one or two. Then 3rd quarter of the year I had been reading a lot of blogs and forums. I came to know about French, Korean and Japanese brands of beauty products. So at the last quarter of the year I was in full swing in buying different and too many products. I was semi obsessed, if ever there is such a term. I was attracted to whatever products I see in the internet that promises to make my skin as beautiful as a baby. Who wouldn't want that? Then came 2015. I still have the same condition with empty pocket and a lot of mess in the room. 

But out of all the purchases I made; I only have regrets with those skin care products with empty promises. But definitely I had fun with different facial wash and body wash. I don't see them as waste of money. People can live with a basic skin care and no make up but there's no way that we can live without taking a bath or cleaning our face. I had fun that I got to try different brands that brings different flavors or smell. Some are expensive and some are affordable. The only difference now is that I'm sticking to those affordable ones. Affordable or dirt cheap doesn't mean poor quality. While expensive wouldn't guarantee that it will work 100%. In just a few weeks I'll get a year older again. So I gotta save money than keep on spending them. 

Aside from being quasi obsessed with beauty regime and/or beauty products. I became interested in cooking, seriously. I had been cooking for the last 5 years or so but last year I started exploring other cuisine like Korean and Japanese. And to be able to do so I had to buy ingredients, right? A few months ago when I started shopping at 2 grocery stores in Karama:
*Dean's Fujiya ~ it is a grocery store that carries Japanese products. Located near Lamcy Plaza.
*Hanarum ~ it is a grocery store that carries Korean products. Located near Karama Post Office.
One word: EXPENSIVE. That is how can I describe the products at both grocery stores but cannot really blame them as the cost of living in UAE has become so expensive. For sure those stores are also paying a fortune for their rents. But in spite of being expensive I'd rather spend my money on food and ingredients than to beauty products. In beauty products I'll be buying the basics but on ingredients for cooking I don't see myself stopping anytime soon. In fact I see myself experimenting more in the future. In the next few weeks I'll be sharing some of the ingredients and food that I found from those grocery stores. 

My life with whiteheads!

This is a rant post. Since I hit puberty I always have whiteheads. Mother told me because I am not scrubbing my nose with towel properly. But I did and I still do. It has nothing to do with cleaning the face anymore. And I am even following the tips I get from the internet.

Nose strip. It is something I cannot live without. It is a very affordable solution in removing whiteheads. But unfortunately it can only do so much. No I am not going to bash nose strips as it has always been a big help. But it has a limit. For example after using one strip I can see that there are whiteheads removed and sticking in the strip. But even so there would still be some on the nose. I can't use immediately another strip as it is not recommended and might dry out my nose. It will prompt the skin to just release more sebum that in the end I'll just get more whiteheads. 

I clean my face twice a day.

I use facial toner.

I use moisturizer.

I use oil free products.

I'm staying away from products with Lanolin.

I always look for Non Comedogenic products.

I scrub my face.

Tried various exfoliators.

I am using charcoal mask for nose.

I am using iWhite mask for nose.

Is there anything I missed? There's only one more product I haven't tried yet. I hope it is affordable. I hope it is available in UAE Market. Here it is:

Not my photo.

Will hunt this product soon..

Time to STOP hoarding products!

Only last year when I started buying different skin care products and make up for various reasons. Less than a year and it already made a huge dent on my bank account even though I don't buy high end items. It is worth it if something amazing is happening with my skin but unfortunately there's no drastic changes and I don't think there will ever be. So in that case I will be making my final haul and then stop. Since I already have enough supplies that will last up to 2 ~ 3 years. And afterwards I will just go back to basics and enough of testing products. 

Sun spots ~ they appeared on my face 5 years ago. Last year I decided to try items that promises to lessen them then eventually make them go away. And now what? I still have them on my face until now. I just have to accept that they are here to stay. It cannot be undone. All I can do is prevent having them all over my face. 

Whiteheads ~ I have this all my life. Tried and trying products that promises to make them disappear or make them less. But then again no such luck for me. I should have just spent my money on stocking up nose strips. At least with nose strips I can really see that it takes away those horrible nasty enemies of my nose. 

Pimples ~ it doesn't bother me big time as I have them once in a blue moon and only one or two. Tried products that's supposed to be working against them. Again if those products are working then why would a pimple or two will still pop up on my face then? I feel like that they are not really a big help on my face. Just adding up to the layers of creams that I am putting. I should have just spent the money on facial wash. 

Uneven Skin Tone ~ even before 2014 unintentionally I'm using products that promises to whiten the skin or even out the skin tone. Like making black spots whiter so in a way they'll be the same with the rest. The color of my skin is still the same as ever as well as the dark spots in my body. I should have just save the money spent on whitening products and go to the dermatologist.

Large Pores ~ why did I ever fall for products claiming that they can shrink my pores???? As long as I have whiteheads I will be using nose strips. As long as I am using nose strips there's no way that my pores at nose will ever become small again, ever. But what is done is done anyway. I already spent money so I'll just finish those products.

Whatever skin care products or make up I will be posting are my purchase from last year up to May of this year. And I already have enough. I'm writing it all down as this blog is my online diary. Also it reflects about my a portion of my life here in UAE as an expat. 

31

Photo From Google

When I was a kid, I never thought about being 31. For me, ages are just numbers. I am 31, yet I don't feel like one. I feel like I am still on my teenage years. Only then I realized what people used to tell me that you can always be young at heart. For I am still young at heart.

Being 31, is not such an easy stage. Yes, I am still in love with colors and yet I'm no longer at the age where I can just wear anything I want or just buy whatever is there that are on sale or on season. Finding the right fashion for this age is not a joke. First, I must buy the basics. So last weekend I searched around for a white shirt or plain shirt appropriate for my age but then I came home empty handed. Yeah, I saw many shirts/tops/blouses but most of them will suite for girls on their early 20's or younger. I still love to wear shirts but in spite of the sale going on I can't just pick up any shirt to wear outside!

Shoes. I love heels and different colors such as pink, yellow, green, blue but then not all the time it will suite me the way it will look cute on younger girls. Recently I purchased a loafers. Hoping it will look professional and elegant without trying so hard. Plus, if I will wear high heels all the time I have to be ultra careful! I tripped once and the experience was not so good at all, the pain was unbearable that I thought I will faint from the pain. It's not good for my health and I don't want to suffer later on in my life because of it.

Jeans. Goodbye low waist jeans. Hello chinos and trousers! Even for jeans/pants I must choose carefully. Gone are the days that I can get away with just any jeans. I'm still dying to rock those colored jeans but I don't want to look like that I'm trying hard to look young as if I am still on my teenage years.

Even the make up, I can no longer experiment. Bright colors are a big no NO too!! I do not know if I will be able to get everything right. I'm just hoping I will be able to get through this, get used to it. I'm sure the things I mentioned are not enough. But one step at a time, even finding a good tops for simple malling is driving me crazy!

So for all the kids/girls out there, enjoy your youth. Especially for those who can't wait to grow up. Growing up is cool and fun but at the same time with so many obstacles. It ain't easy; sometimes I even wish that I'll be forever in my 20's..

Frustrated Photographer :(

That is how I describe myself..

Ever since I came here in the UAE, taking photos has been a part of my life. Capturing every moments, freezing them in time. All the little occasions in my life over here. But as time goes by, I dunno.. I do not really see any improvements. I am still bad as ever when it comes to capturing a good angle. I do not have the eye for it. Most of the times it saddens me.

But then maybe I am not really trying hard enough, while others do choose to practice everyday I choose to sleep and regain my energy from working the whole day. While others to get their ass out of the house even if it is 40 degrees I choose to jus stay at home and watch movies.

And the weekends, ahhh I spend it on malls. To see a movie and eat. And then go to grocery which again left me little time to linger and take a snap shots. Will I ever improve? I'm still hoping anyway. I do hope in the future I will have plenty of time in my hand to concentrate but for now, I just have to be and happy to be contented. Maybe, photography isn't for everyone after all. But still I am open to all advices and pointers that people will give me..

Am I just getting tired? Just need a break?

Friends often tell me to stop complaining about life. Stop thinking too much. Just enjoy the moment. But once in a while this feelings keep on coming. I know how hard life is. I know a lot of people would give up everything to be in my position (don't mean to sound boastful, but I have seen a lot of unemployed hoping to be a part of this company). I had been wearing uniform from the day I started schooling up to now that I am working. Some days I do waking up hating "uniforms". Sometimes, I do go to work just because I have to. I had been doing the same thing over and over again. The salary is still the same. The system is still the same. But then I do not want to go back in Manila. Tsk. There are so many questions left unanswered. So many things I cannot understand. I see myself as a robot. Need to wake up early. Go to work. Have lunch. Go home in the evening. Go in the mall on weekends. I look at my colleagues and some times I do envy them. How contented they are with their lives, but sometimes I wonder too if they do have other dreams? How can they be completely happy in this place? Do I just need a break? Or I am really tired with the situation? In just a few days I will go on mini vacation. Hopefully I'll find some answers too..