Love

"Whenever I watch romantic movies, witness couples kiss and make up, listen to love songs.. I smile and feel good 'cause I know that love still works, if not for me, at least to others." - Ally McBeal

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Hello 2021

I will sound like a broken record. But what the heck, do not expect me to remember everything I have written from last year. Anyway now we are in 2021 and my situation is still the same. I am an overseas Filipino worker in middle east. I do belong in the sector of people with low salary. We do not have minimum wage here so whatever your employer will give you is still legal. Much more if you agreed to it. Most of us here agreed to it in order to survive. But I am not writing this post to rant or share about the salary and financial difficulties. That is pretty normal anywhere in the world I guess. But rather I want to talk about (again) minimalism. Why I wanted to be one but cannot be one. If that is making any sense to you. So as I said over and over, time is always the problem. With the long working hours basically there is not enough time for anything else. I can write this post just because I am on leave today. But it is not I can always get a leave. We just happened to be in pandemic and there is a lot of going on. Then aside from the time, just like how I started the post, I mentioned about money. In short, I do not have so much time, money and choices. I am not complaining though and I am thankful that I get to see 2021 in spite of all the chaos. I am simply trying to say that those situations mentioned are the factors why I am in and out of my minimalist goal.

I have a small closet. Again that is not a complain. I have a small one because the space is small. Besides a big one will cost a fortune. Since none of us can stay here forever, since the country do not offer that permanent citizenship the way other countries do, I think it is a waste to buy such things. Like a big closet to accommodate all the stuff. Instead one has to own less to fit on it. But then I take back that word about citizenship, sorry, they started offering it but only for businessmen. For people with enough money that will keep their economy afloat. But then my post is not about that so let's move on shall we? I was almost successful in cutting down on my earthly possessions like clothing, shoes and bags. But then pandemic started and everything turned upside down. I gained weight as well when I had to stay at home for a few weeks. With this virus around, every time I step inside the flat from outside, automatically need to remove everything immediately. So I found myself needing more clothes since I own less. Plus the weight gain. Found myself shopping online. With money I could have put instead on my savings. More clothes, more washing, goodbye being frugal. But we do what we can do in order to survive. Yeah I clean shoes all the time but not on this level of needing to sanitize them. Sanitizing shoes, I noticed that even leather shoes cannot take all the beating from alcohol. That again I found myself spending as I am sure soon enough I will be needing a new pair of shoes. Again goodbye to being minimalist and frugal, but not by choice. Because the situation calls for it. Since I have seen with my own eyes that leather shoes go bad when sanitizing that I stopped using my leather bags. Instead, I have taken out once more the money I am trying to save to get myself those cotton tote bags. That I immediately put in the laundry basket as soon as I get home. I did not do any inventory this year as to how many stuff I now own. I do not even want to count how much I spent on those. As long as it helps me in surviving.

2021 I have more clothes and bags more than ever. Again not because I am crazy for them. I used them well. But those are not the only things that took away my hard earned money. And threatening to create another mess in my place. Looking back at my earlier posts, I have a problematic skin as well. I do not mind how my skin looks but I started to mind when it hurts. I have dry hands, dry skin for as long as I can remember. If I am not moisturizing well I end up with flaky skin that gets paper cut easily. And they say when your skin is open the more chances the virus can enter your body. It is a bit crazy and tiring, the whole day I do not know anymore how many times I wash my hands and/or sanitize followed by the lotion. A soap and sanitizer can promise you that it is moisturizing at the same time I haven't seen one. That lotion is a must for me. And boy, I never finished a bottle of lotion this fast in my entire life. That when I saw the sale in iHerb I took a chance and bought a few bottles. Something I will never do in the name of minimalism and being thrifty pre pandemic. So another pile to add in my pile of clothing and bags. I also cannot believe my own eyes that during pandemic I was able to finish so many tubes of lotions (along with soap & alcohol) to think in the past a bottle of lotion feels like forever to be gone.

I am using social media to document my decluttering posts but then I am sure that people who can see my account will find it hard to believe because since 2020 I am posting new things rather than what I am disposing. Or what I am supposed to be disposing. And once again, food, oh and lots of it. Maybe I am just being paranoid but it hit me that maybe one day, seafood and other food items will be so expensive and feels like a luxury. But that is not the reason for my weight gain (being defensive haha) I mean I still eat less but I am making sure I eat what will make me happy. I am trying to eat those "premium" food I was avoiding in the past just so I can save money. Most OFWs are doing that I believe, not eating well so they can keep the money instead. For me that will be Japanese and Korean food especially their fruits. I am no longer holding back, fruits are healthy anyway, so the expensive price seems justifiable. Another part of me thinks that if I were to die at least I get to pamper myself in simple things (imagine the super soft Japanese mochi while sipping coffee).