Repost: An Old Joke ☺

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you
that I'm leaving you
forever. I've been a good man to you
for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you
quit your job today and that was the
last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't
even notice that I had a new haircut,
had cooked your favorite meal and even
wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in two minutes, and went
straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps. You don't tell me you love
me anymore; you don't want sex or
anything that connects us as husband
and wife.

Either you're cheating on me or you
don't love me anymore; whatever the
case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband


P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER
and I are moving away
to West Virginia together! Have a great
life!




Dear Ex-Husband -

Nothing has made my day more than
receiving your letter. It's
true that you and I have been married
for seven years, although a good man is
a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they
drown out your constant whining and
griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut
last week, but the first thing that
came to mind was 'You look just like a
girl!' Since my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say something
nice, I didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal,
you must have gotten me confused with
MY SISTER, because I stopped eating
pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned
away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and
I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my sister had just
borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you
and felt that we could work it out. So
when I hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us
two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens
for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you
always wanted. My lawyer said that the
letter you wrote ensures you won't get
a dime from me. So take care.


Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!


P.S. I don't know if I ever told you
this, but my sister Carla
was born Carl. I hope that's not a
problem.